Speech Reveals the Heart
It is important to understand that after we receive the Holy Ghost and the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit grows in our lives, we become more like him inside. This inward change can’t help but to become evident in our outward lifestyle. It should be our greatest testimony to those around us, one that can’t be denied by the unbeliever even if he can’t understand it. He will be drawn to the Holy God in us and often ask about the reasons for our differences. This is our opportunity to verbally testify about the goodness of God. One area that should change as we separate ourselves unto God is our speech.
Aside from our actions, our speech displays to others who we are inside. A prepared speech in front of a crowd may or may not be revealing. However, that which is spoken daily, whether privately, casually, passionately, or even in humor, can give evidence of what’s in our heart. As Jesus in Luke 6:45 states, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
Careless Words Judged
In many places in the Bible God instructs us on our speech. In fact, he lets us know that we will have to answer for our words, even those spoken carelessly. Matthew 12:36-37 warns us, “But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” This warning about our idle or careless words spoken without thought should cause us to pause and likely spend time in repentance. It makes sense though, that it is when we are not thinking before we speak or weighing our words carefully, that this is when the “evil treasure of our heart” may escape.
An Unbridled Tongue is Hypocrisy on Display
Our relationship with God should allow him to truly change our heart, clearing it of evil so our religion won’t be in vain. We won’t be found to be hypocrites as described in James 1:26, “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.” We must not walk around displaying a form of godliness as mentioned in 2 Timothy 3:5 but deny the power of God to completely transform our heart and what flows from it.
The book of James illustrates the inevitable hypocrisy displayed through the tongue of the un-surrendered heart. If we have not surrendered to God total control, our tongue, though very small, may lead us to hell. This is described by James in chapter 3 and verses 2-10. He starts in verse 2 by informing us that “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.” He goes on to describe how powerful horses are controlled by small bits in their mouths and large ships are controlled by small helms. Then in comparison he states that the tongue is a little, yet exceedingly powerful part of our body. He warns that it can be set on fire by hell to defile our whole body and lead us to destruction.
James says that mankind has tamed all kinds of beasts, but verses 8-10 complete this thought by saying, “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” This combination of blessing and cursing flowing from the abundance of our heart through our tongue is hypocrisy on display.
Silence is Golden
Think Before You Speak
If idle words will be judged, then it seems logical that the more we speak, the more likely sin will be found in our words. The wise old saying, “Think before you speak,” is too often left unheeded. For some of us it is far too easy to give our opinion, critique, or response without gathering all facts or weighing the impact of our words. We must remember that Proverbs 10:19 warns that, “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” Proverbs 29:11 states, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” And in the New Testament, James writes in chapter 1 verse 19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” Perhaps these scriptures led to the sayings, “Silence is golden,” and “You have two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you speak.”
Wrong Opinions and Advice
A wrong opinion may end up making us look foolish if we were not as informed as we thought we were. This holds true in everyday subjects such as business, news, or other areas of interest. In some cases, when the opinion involves spiritual matters, it may even end up being sinful. Job’s friends self-righteously assumed that God was punishing Job for some sin he had committed. They preached condemnation and his need of repentance, not realizing how off base they were until God rebuked them. Job lamented in Job 13:5 “O that ye would altogether hold your peace! And it should be your wisdom.” God even called Job out on speaking on things he did not understand in chapter 38:2. “Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?”
Advice given that doesn’t align with scripture or the heart of God may be sinful itself and lead to sin and hurt. Make sure that you are praying, reading the Bible, and walking in the Spirit before casually giving advice on spiritual matters and even the heavy issues of life. It would likely be better to listen with empathy to someone who is hurting and offer to pray with them rather than spouting off the first idea that comes to your head. God can bring more healing and help through our fervent prayers than any of our human understanding and words could result in.
Be Careful With Criticism
Criticism, no matter how true, may still not be wisely uttered depending on the timing, receptiveness, and underlying need. We must ask God for wisdom and opportunity for the best time to give criticism and instruction. For some people, the right time may never come due to their foolishness. Scripture teaches us in Proverbs 9:7, “He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.” On the other hand, we also need wisdom to discern, not only the surface issue, but also the deeper problem. We, like the Psalmist in Psalms 119:66 can ask God, “Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments.” With the wisdom God gives, we can give constructive criticism that is received and truly helps.
The Quick Retort
Something negative said about us may provoke a sharp response that reveals a lack of meekness or patience. Moses, called the meekest man on Earth, patiently endured constant complaints as he followed God in leading the children of Israel out of slavery and to their promised land. In fact, on more than one occasion many openly questioned his right to be their leader at all. Instead of defending himself or attacking with any words of his own, he kept silent and allowed God to openly favor and confirm his leadership and take vengeance on his detractors.
On several occasions they rebelled against the commandments he relayed to them from God. Once after constant complaints and rebellion, God said he would kill them all and just make Moses the start of a new nation. Yet Moses chose to pray that God would have mercy on these same rebellious people saying so many horrible things. He used his speech to bring mercy and salvation rather than anger and condemnation.
1 Peter 3:9 instructs, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” This would be impossible without Jesus dwelling within us, but with him we can display his loving strength that others will be drawn to.
Speech To Avoid
Vulgarity is Never Funny
Besides cautioning us to speak less, the Bible specifies that certain speech be avoided altogether. Concerning what may be considered funny by worldly standards, Ephesians 5:4 instructs that the following must not be found among a group of believers. “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.” Other versions of the Bible use words such as crude, obscene, and vulgar joking being speech not appropriate, suitable, or fitting for the believer. If you find yourself cursing or speaking in a filthy or vulgar manner to be funny or fit in, you should likely be careful of who you hang around and what you may watch or listen to so it does not taint your heart. Ask God to cleanse your mind and refrain from this sinful speech.
Other scriptures deal with evil, deceptive, or slanderous speech. 1 Peter 3:10 declares, “For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:” While speaking evil may be self explanatory and cover many areas, many people may not understand the meaning of guile. Speaking guile may be defined as deceptive speech used to manipulate. We are never to lie or manipulate others, even to protect or promote ourselves. In fact, a lying tongue is one of the seven things listed that God hates in Proverbs 6:17 and all liars are specifically mentioned as being found in the lake of fire in Revelation 21:8
Another type of speech to stay away from includes slander or gossip which is false and damaging statements about someone. Proverbs 10:18 states, “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.” Paul in Ephesians chapter 4 covers many forms of forbidden speech to the believer including lying. Then in verse 29 he says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
Anger Sinfully Verbalized
Later in Verse 35 of Ephesians 4 Paul commands, “ Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” Basically, though we all get angry at times, we must pray and ask God to help us to have His mind in the matter. We must not let the anger become a sinful verbalization of bitterness, wrath, or clamor. Clamor may be defined as a loud, continuous outcry of complaint or urgent demand. Constant loud, demanding complaints are not godly ways to deal with any situation. We must go through our daily lives and “Do all things without murmurings and disputings:” as stated in Philippians 2:14.
Stirring Up Strife
We should also not be quick to argue or stir up strife but rather be peacemakers whenever possible. 2 Timothy 2:23-24 says, “But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.” As children of God we should desire and work toward unity and not division. Any disagreement must be handled with prayer, love, and patient understanding. Proverbs 15:1 informs us that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Our goal should never be to destroy or damage the other, but rather to teach and win the heart and mind of our brother and become unified with the mind of Christ.
Swear Not
As Christians, we should be known for keeping our word as well as being moderate as opposed to unpredictable and extreme in our reactions. This should be reflected in our speech. James 5:12 says, “But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.” Swearing should not be necessary to convince others that we mean what we say. We should be able to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘I will’ or ‘I won’t’ without curse words or wild oaths surrounding it. Our credibility should come from the consistency of our actions and our emotions should be held in check by the Spirit of God within us.
What We Should Speak
Just as the Word of God warns us against several kinds of negative speech, it encourages and places great importance on other kinds of speech.
Encouragement
As Christians we are instructed to encourage, and help others with what we say. Isaiah 50:4 talks about how to “Speak a word in season to him that is weary:” Thus we can give strength and encouragement through our words to those who are tired or depressed. In fact, Proverbs 12:25 lets us know that, “Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.” Too many people see someone down and instead of uplifting them they share with them their own misery, or even worse, kick them while they’re down. Both of these options generally display a selfish and self-promoting heart. As Christians our automatic response should be a transfer of the love, gentleness, goodness, peace, joy, and faith found in God. This may come through listening, praying, speaking, or some combination of the three. We can bring the gift Proverbs 16:24 describes, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”
Testify
We are also instructed to use our words to testify of who Jesus is, his goodness, and his salvation. In Acts the apostles prayed for boldness to proclaim the name of Jesus. In Colossians 4 verses 2-4 Paul asked prayer for the opportunity and words “To speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in bonds: That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.” In verses 5-6 He tells the church to, “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” This indicates that we should not waste time, but always be praying and looking for opportunities to tell others about Jesus. How he was God made flesh who died to pay the penalty for our sins. Our speech should bless others and increase their interest in the things of God.
Teach
Not only should we speak to testify to unbelievers, but we should also use our words to teach our children and those younger or new in the Lord. Referring to the commandments of God, Deuteronomy 6:7 instructs, “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Paul tells Titus that the older women should teach the younger women how to behave as a godly women, wives, and mothers. There are plenty of other examples of using our speech to edify one another within the body of Christ.
Uncompromising Truth with Love
Paul instructed Titus that as a church leader he must display, “Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.” Titus 2:8. Paul expected mature Christians not to be deceived or waver in doctrine, but, as Ephesians 4:15 says, “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:” Thus growing in Christ or becoming a leader in the body of Christ does not mean compromising truth with lies to appease. However, it does require wisdom to instruct and speak the truth in love. Others will feel your heart whether filled with the love of God or some other ungodly motivation. Their reception of truth and salvation may well depend on what’s in your heart when you convey it.
Talk to Yourself
In addition to speaking to others, we are told to speak to ourselves. In 1 Samuel 30:6 David was distressed due to the despair and words of those around him so, “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” Sometimes we need to verbalize God’s Word and promises to ourselves when we are discouraged. Also, Paul encourages this in Ephesians 5:19 which says, “Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;” How we speak to ourselves greatly influences our attitude and behavior, so let us obey the Bible in encouraging ourselves in the Lord using scripture, songs, and godly speech.
Magnify the Lord
Above and beyond our speaking to others or ourselves, we are instructed to verbally praise, worship, and pray to God. The Psalms are filled with examples and instruction in this. Psalm 66:8 says, “O bless our God, ye people, and make the voice of his praise to be heard:” As I’ve covered in other posts, it is especially important to have a verbal relationship of prayer, worship, and other forms of talking to God.
Holy Speech Sets Us Apart
Holy Christian speech will truly set us apart from the world around us and make us a treasure and testimony for Jesus. If you refer back to my first post on holiness you will remember that holy means set apart from all that is sinful and impure and dedicated for God’s use. Living as a holy vessel for God’s use means living as a shining example for him to the world of all that Jesus is. We are to be Christ-like, full of his Spirit, and displaying the fruit of that Spirit consistently. Others see both our actions and our speech. They judge us by how those two parts of our life line up with each other and with Jesus.
Pray For A Holy Heart That Pours Out Holy Speech
Proverbs 18:21 states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Just as we will reap what we sow through our actions, we will also reap the fruit of our lips, whether it be evil or good. Because our words have so much power, we would do well to pray daily Psalms 141:3 “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Also, Psalms 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Only with his Holy Spirit working within us and cleansing our heart, will we have the strength to maintain holiness in our speech
It would be wise to take a moment to reflect on how the love, joy, peace, longsuffering , gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance listed as the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 should be heard in how we talk on a daily basis. I would love to see your reflections or examples in the comments.
Of course, the words we write are also a form of speech. In the modern era of social media, the words we write, repost, or text are likely to reach more people than ever and last longer than ever before. As a result, perhaps we should make it a habit to pray before we post.
We must pray as David did in Psalms 51. “10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. … 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. … 15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.” I want my words to be a testimony of the goodness of God and not a display of the hypocrisy of an unclean heart.
Merc
Super good study!
Christy
Thanks. It’s been great for me to reflect prayerfully on this topic as I wrote about it.
Stephanie
Insightful and food for thought. A lot of it I had never thought of before.
Christy
I’m glad it brought important reflection. I know I haven’t thought about parts of it enough. However, when I do think about whether something I say would have God’s approval, the results are wiser and better.